The Keyhole. Who invented the keyhole? When? I think I got my very first pair of panties with a keyhole some time around the late 90’s or so… I’m awful with time lines. Anyway, I don’t remember the date, but I do remember falling in love those underwears. There wasn’t much to them aside from the keyhole. They were plain black cotton/nylon/spandex/whatever bikinis with black lace trim and one of those ubiquitous bows, but I just loved the simplicity and sexiness of that keyhole. It is always a selling point for me: cute panty, bad color… keyhole? Done! I’ll take it. Great color, chintzy fabric… keyhole? Chintz schmintz, I’ll take it. Cutting out an elegant little hole right at the top of the- pardon my french- ass crack is a brilliant way to turn a pair of ho-hum drawers into hum-dinger panties. I’m sometimes tempted to take a pair of scissors to a few lack-luster top drawer denizens that I own just to spruce them up.

And the keyhole isn’t just a tool for putting the crack in it’s limelight. Panties like the Divorcee have amazing little hip keyholes. The keyhole isn’t limited to the world of panties either. Skin makes a top with a fantastically huge keyhole in the back. Did I buy one as soon as they came in? You bet I did! You could put a keyhole on an over sized old stained sweatshirt and I would consider buying it. Yes, it’s my Achilles’ Heel of consumerism. If I had my way there would be little sneak-peek-a-boo holes in everything. I’m like a gopher, a fashion gopher.